if life is a sketch on the paper.

Leaving secondary school for almost three years, never know I'll still get to wear back this uniform again, though is for a promotion video shooting of a sermon. Went to canteen and looked around. Mak Cik gave me a confuse look and asked me : " Ah moi, rambut merah boleh masuk ke?" So embarrassed to tell her I'm no longer a secondary school student. Yea, I've grown up for sure.

miss you

trying to update my blog using phone and realize it's just way to troublesome. Anyway, I hope I can sing it well one day, the not too slumber unpluck song. IMY.

I dreamed a dream, a beautiful dream

Suddenly think of this song. I only knew it when I watched Les Miserable and I only love it after few times listening to the music video of this movie. The first time I watched this scene, I don't get all the feelings. But now I understand how Anne Hathaway won so many awards with just a few scenes in the movie. The more I reminisced the movie, the more I'm in love with the movie. Hope there's chance I can watch the musical of Les Miserable.

The dream I dreamed might probably been killed, but I know my hope is rebuild in God.

Rainbow after the rain

Happened to flip through this journal book with the 28 days memory in Cambodia. I always remind myself to complete it with the devotion, my feeling and the learning values every each day. Reminiscing the days in mission field, there's still many challenges but what makes me fearless is the unshaken faith knowing God is in control when I'm in His mission. I guess that is one of the reason I love mission. 
I want the faith I have during the mission. 
The leaders constantly remind me that I'm in a bigger mission field, which is this real life and I shall have the same faith knowing God is in control of my life, but I always fail, and I really hate the feeling of losing hope. Oh God, have mercy on me when my emotion constantly swings up and down. :(

when the night falls

Here comes the very sensitive part of my soul when the night falls. I used to love this very detail part of my sensation where I'm back to my most natural state as a woman. But being a woman, the biggest struggle I guess every women faces is the emotion stability. Sensitivity only means it is either extremely good state or the other way round. But Joyce Meyer is right, this very powerful pastor is teaching the women to have stability in their soul and I know I'm in progress. 20 years old is big enough to learn some lessons in life, and I just pray it will work well in my future, especially the marriage I always dream of but at the same time, having fear in it.

I can't do without

Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable...The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.

C.S.Lewis

There is this woman, whose husband was diagnosed with a brain tumour. At this stage, she knew she had a clear choice to make. To distance herself from him, and if he died, perhaps she would feel less pain or to love for all she was worth-and trust God for the outcome. She thought " This may be my one chance to love a man and to give myself to all marriage has to offer. I can either hold back and protect my heart from further pain down the road or I can go for broke and love like there's no tomorrow - because there may not be. "

" I'd rather be heartbroken..than to hold back and refuse to love."

把风景都看透，再看细水长流。

从来都不觉得我是一个好相处的人，但是那些愿意和我相处的人，他们真的都很善良。
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原来在低谷里还可以紧紧捉着的手臂，才是真正爱你的朋友。
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其实我真的什么都不要，只要一个不嫌弃我眼泪沾湿的衣襟，和一个拥抱让我放声大哭。
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When I cry

A very sweet sharing from my dear sister in Christ. Such a big comfort from the lyrics.