C.S.Lewis
There is this woman, whose husband was diagnosed with a brain tumour. At this stage, she knew she had a clear choice to make. To distance herself from him, and if he died, perhaps she would feel less pain or to love for all she was worth-and trust God for the outcome. She thought " This may be my one chance to love a man and to give myself to all marriage has to offer. I can either hold back and protect my heart from further pain down the road or I can go for broke and love like there's no tomorrow - because there may not be. "
" I'd rather be heartbroken..than to hold back and refuse to love."
The husband died and the absence was so huge but she claimed that the love breeds life and she would do it all again.
Such an amazing true story from Strong Women, Soft Hearts this enriching book. I wish I could have this capacity to love like there's no tomorrow, not because I have no rationale but because the love will enrich my life. I know I'm moving to the direction now.
The more I relate myself to the book, the more I know this book is for me, always the answers I've been seeking or the nature in me. To be the lady that pleases God, I need to know who I am in God's eyes. Always when the emotion struck me in the silent night, I could only hang on the insights of the writer. How I wish I can never finish reading this book.
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Met up with my lovely friend. Never know how grateful I am to have you throughout this 7 years. And amazingly, we are getting closer and intimate over the years even we are far from each other. Guess you know you are the one that witnessed my growth and transformation over the years. Sitting at the same place just sharing life for 4 hours! That's really insane man but I love you girl, being there for me when I'm crying out.
I will get well soon. As I told you, once I'm recovered from the past and present experience, completely recover, I will allow myself to love, really love like there's no tomorrow. I know the ability to love is from God and I've been losing it for such a long time without realizing it. 5 years, whoahh, I hope God would signal me earlier and this incident would not happened, but I believe He has the best timing, God bless me this time and replenish whatever I have lost throughout the years.
就算真的只是巧合，我希望我们的生命还会有再交错的巧合。
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Second visit to Universal Studio but with missionaries from Philippine & Cambodia who visited our church. Only in Christ we are in one body despite our background.
Initial reason to spend money for the same visit simply because I know I'm enough staying at home. I thought getting out of the stuffy room with fresher air could get me out from all the emotions. Secondly simply just to entertain these peoples who have been so kind to us when I was the intern in Cambodia. To really enjoy the theme park is my last reason, I doubt if I'm wasting hundred over bucks for a not-so-good reason. I believe not when they truly enjoyed the day, gratefully thanked and blessed me in the prayer.
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| our first photo of the day after a long year. |
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| Philippines, Cambodian, Malaysian & half Singaporean |
I know I would pay a visit to Samal Island one day, another one month internship hopefully. I'm not 100% sure, just feel so 'me' when it's about mission.
Universal Studio, I'm wondering when is my next visit. I do hope the next return, I can share all these beautiful scenery and enjoyment with the one I would share my life.
原来这么多美丽的风景，一个人看，不如等待那个陪你细水长流的再一起看。
So I thought breathing fresh air would sooth me for a moment, never know every spots I stopped by, only make me reminiscing you even more. I wonder wherever you are now, you would still spare that little time for me even it reminds you of the heartache. I guess you wouldn't even bother to read my blog if you've really let go.
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So I guess the bonus I received after all the depression is that: I FINALLY LOSE WEIGHT!!
Woohoo! Have been trying for years to slim down but never succeed. Felt dejected especially when I flipped through the photos take three years ago, when I was still very slim that time. One of the worse experience is that I even grow muscle after intending to lose weight through exercise!
I'm really grateful even at the most terrible time, there's this little fact that cheers me. Can't imagine if I'm the kind that will crave for more food during depression and seeing your weight continue shooting high which brings even more depression.
梦醒了，心也碎了。
以为只是个美丽伤感的词句，原来是个残酷的现实，而且每天都要经历一次。
你说你会练得更壮，要比我变肥的速度更快，我记得。
<3 love and support you always!
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