the more I'm in pain, the more I'm in love

Never know it's just a week of my holiday. There's such tremendous change in me. People might not realize from external, but I know my mood swing like roller-coaster. But this roller-coaster keeps going down till no end. I'm scare, I know I'm really scare, if God's hand is not there for me. Life was so much beautiful when there is no fall, no pain nor hurt. But I know life can never be that beautiful once I overcome the fall, the pain & hurt.

还是受伤了。。

真的还是受伤了。。我真的以为只要不陷入任何一段感情， 我就不需要承受那种锥心的痛， 我真的以为我一直在安全地带，真的以为。。
朋友说只有到失去时， 你才发现它的价值。是这样吗？怎么这句话真的刺进我的心。
而且我好像懂得什么叫自作自受了，明明是我选择的，不是吗？将我凭什么去哭诉，凭什么去奢求。。

完结篇

每个故事的开始，都只是为了一个完结篇。一部能够让你迷上的电视剧，不也都为了一个结局而设。而不管是哪一个结局，留下的都是淡淡的忧愁，一个终于等到最后，却是有点失去什么的心情。
我不是一个勇敢的人，至少，当我可以选择逃避的时候，即使我都让自己表现得很勇敢。只是，当我很慌乱的时候，我真的希望我不是那个写下结局的人。

I'm all alone

What people comment about me is that I'm a loner or a soloist.
Yes, I'm well-off alone, like what she described me.
love to being in my own world, doing stuffs that people will never appreciate, having thoughts that people might not understand. I know I'm different, and I know I'm always do.
Even when thing messed up, I will keep it all to myself. 
But life changed me. Too many warm hearts transformed me.

纠结

不是从来不知道，而是太久没有感受这样的纠结了。自以为很聪明，能够把玩情绪情感，让自己置于事外，最后还是一脚陷进来。讨厌纠结的情绪，明明很多思绪，却都搅在一起。。

wordless

I have been leaving my laptop at the 'new post' page of the blogspot, thinking I should have write something after so long time but just can't figure out something wise?
Shall I talk about my first year in university which had just come to the end? sounds lame. Talk about haze? what can I do with it then. Talk about my troubles facing right now? It's just too complicated. Nothing seems right for me. 
I thought I could have post something meaningful when I finally find time sitting in front of laptop without any rush, I thought some ideas could just pop out and once I start writing it will seems no ending, but.. I FAILED. 
Ok fine, I guess I have nothing to say.