never mind

I did something terrible, making the situation even unbearable.
Making myself more enemies.

The wounded heart, hurting by the lies and betrayal, who can bear?
The wounded heart, hurting by someone you've truly given your heart to, who can bear?




I am a victim in this context, but everyone hate me. I am the victim of a relationship with intruder. But people hate me and see me as the intruder of THEIR friendship or relationship or whatever.
I have tried my best hiding all the pain putting on me, trying my best not to bad mouth and leaving the ending without dirty mark. But I failed.

In the end who cares? It's your life and her life right now and I have no right to get mad.
But all I hope was the last gentle act from you while letting me go. But why are you pushing me into hell? As if I'm never miserable enough for you.. Why are you continue hurting me while you know you still have the ability? Why are you so selfish? Am I just mean so least to you that you would just trample and mock me while seeing me fall?

Am I not trying hard enough not to leave myself with hatred and bitterness while keeping good care of all the beautiful memories. Why are you pushing through my god damn limit?! Why can't you make it a peaceful break up but letting another person to be in this broken relationship? Why are you making me hating you so much? Why you want me living with this bitter experience of betrayal. And now, for the fucking betrayal, I still have to bear with all the mocking and displease of you and her friends. So that is the gift for me for loving you with all my heart. Mock me as you wish, even I find myself stupid enough to trust you. I admit that my love is never perfect but how can you be so cruel breaking me into pieces.

How can I forgive when you didn't even realize you've done such a terrible thing on me??ALL I WANT is just for you to understand, didn't even expect any apology from you..
But
you don't care anymore.
Even if I die

I try want to continue love, despite the hurt...But I can't...anymore..no longer...
I want to forgive..truly want


never mind