probably night always brings up my inner emotion when I'm alone.
What if the flight crash the way back?
Definitely I shall rejoice to go heaven earlier but wait.. NO!!!
not now.. definitely not now..
The memory flashed..to a church camp, I was being a questioned what I wanted people to remember if I die.
I thought for a moment and replied, ' to be someone that can impact their lives.'
and I haven't fulfilled my task on earth.
Definitely a waste if I die now, definitely I'll be guilty to meet God's face for not impacting enough lives.
Tears roll down. I close my eyes and pray,
Dear Father, strengthen me and grant me wisdom to touch more people. Give me the heart for lost souls and really, make me somebody to impact others that even my death will be something that glorify you and an awaken to bring people closer to you.
if I die young, one thing will probably make me feel pity, might be that I can never love. I never love before and I never know how if I never been given the chance for it.
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我21岁了，时间真的就过得飞快。其实很看重自己的生日，就算是21，即使想法很幼稚，还是会希望有谁能够让我觉得生日有特权，所以每次达不到要求，每年的生日都很难过。其实抗拒每年都在重演，可是今年的我，好像是第一次感受到，我的出生是件幸福的事。
有这么一个不知道该用什么来形容的他，特地陪着我，过了很开心的一天，就算是我们见面的最后一天。一个真的不要求我回报，却真心待我的朋友。这么久的第一次，有人给了我个小惊喜，真的很小，但我很满足。
约了近十个旧朋友，来的只有两个，但依然很开心，我们共同拥有的旧时光。
从小是个叛逆的孩子，每年都会庆祝生日，但却从未真心觉得快乐，也不真的在乎。今年的我，觉得家人是永远的靠岸，我真的很幸福。
21岁时，父母会送金锁匙项链，象征孩子长大，归还属于掌控自己生命的钥匙。我要求了一个十字架。对我而言，21，是一个成长阶段，让我更加坚信我的信仰，再一次将自己的生命献给上帝。
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| 21岁金钥匙 |
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I actually drove 180km within 48 hours in Langkawi.
Didn't really expect I can drive for such a long distance and long hour, and I actually drove 45mins mountain road just for a sunset. This is youth, perhaps.
Imagining how God created this beautiful nature, how much more God can do in my life, despite the sorrow that tinglings deep down my heart.
Rather than just enjoyment, the trip is more for the fulfillment of the inner me.
Reminiscing what had happened during the first day upon our arrival, things never go well as how we plan but always turn out to something beautiful we never expect.
Life, never goes as how we plan, but always believe that God will never treat you badly no matter how.
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| pretty driver in the town! |
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| the sunset before saying goodbye to Langkawi |
所以，我让自己变成了泡沫，消失了。
希望是带着七彩的泡沫，绚丽而夺目地在你眼前消失。
竟然，这是第二次。
是因为害怕面对，还是真的如同自己说服自己的那一套，不联络就会习惯地不再想起？
关系走到这一步，是我的责任，是太高估自己了，结果又再摔一跤。
对不善于控制自己的情感，总是气煞，也郁闷。
多么不愿意，陷下去的，总是拔不起来、收不回来。
真的讨厌这样的自己，即使高傲将我掩饰。
我会让自己尽快好起来，回到我们的从前，因为我真的不想失去。
或许不再重要，但真的很好奇，你察觉了这样的消失无踪与不安吗？
这样的断绝，会让你发现其实我并没有那么重要，还是有可能，让你更加珍惜呢？
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