when the night falls

Here comes the very sensitive part of my soul when the night falls. I used to love this very detail part of my sensation where I'm back to my most natural state as a woman. But being a woman, the biggest struggle I guess every women faces is the emotion stability. Sensitivity only means it is either extremely good state or the other way round. But Joyce Meyer is right, this very powerful pastor is teaching the women to have stability in their soul and I know I'm in progress. 20 years old is big enough to learn some lessons in life, and I just pray it will work well in my future, especially the marriage I always dream of but at the same time, having fear in it.



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So, I failed to get my so-called 'dream job'. Disappointment? I would say I've already prepared for that. But since I pray and hand this matter unto God, I just pray He will use my time for greater thing to bring me to the other climax. 
I always think if I'm the kind of girl, fancy of  'despicable me' dolls, going after Korea drama, shopping spree & high tea with sisters, life would be so much easier. I can so easily be filled up by all this little hobby even it sounds pointless at all. I have friends who love Korea drama so much that they would just fill their time with all dramas and feeling satisfy after every dramas. How I wish I can just be filled so easily. Thinking of what I will do for the whole holiday, especially now, without income without work, life ain't that easy. Really hate 'mushrooming' at home. God I need more passion, to really on fire!
I guess what I fear most is only I'll waste my precious holiday without doing anything meaningful since I know I would not have that many holidays when I further study. 2 months for this year, 1 month for the year ahead and no more semester break. Lord, I pray that you'll grant me a very fulfilled holiday that when I look back, I see Your grace that fills me completely.


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suddenly become so filial XP

I'm good jiejie XD

Able to spend time with my big family. Every moment from now, I just pray that I'm giving my best, either is to help to take care the elderly, my grandma which I have to be frank that I don't always visit her or to entertain this little princess of my aunt. Trying so hard to cheer this little angel with sour face initially and got so dejected at first place. But time proven I still have my charm to transform the crying baby to the happy angel, hehe! 
I guess when I'm feeling helpless on what I can do to make anything in my life better, to become a better person is the only way out, since it doesn't bring harm. I do hope after this transition state, I can really stand confidently as a better man in God.


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Another way to make myself  better, not only inside but also externally! Since my last post saying I manage to reduce some weight, not sure is the change of thinking make me feel my foot step now is lighter ( but the fact is that I don't really lose much of weight =.=" ). Anyway, I'm working on my body figure now, not to attract but at least give myself more confidence. Try to keep my life active and maintain my stamina by exercising almost everyday. Putting my focus on the Escape Park and Mount Kinabalu, I'm going to conquer both targets one day, whoohoo! 

Chocolate indulgence. I guess the gift I receive the most must be chocolate. Is it because scare of gaining fat? I do realize I don't eat it that often. So many chocolate in the fridge and my dad is the one helping me finishing it. Chocolate still has its charm and glamour towards me, but I guess the real comfort is no longer from chocolate itself.


I know I still love chocolate.