.

I thought my last post was last century. I have been given up blogging I guess. 
I guess no matter good or bad, I have somebody to tell. So I don't need to blog? Telling nobody here.
But, not anymore.

That's why I blog.
I miss you. If you would ever know. Or you would ever want to know. The words that I will never say it out loud again.

Sorry I've been messing things up. Sorry for causing all the disappointments. Sorry that I've never been good enough... Sorry for causing us so wounded...
If it never meant to start, it's my fault that I did not listen to God at the first place. Then I wouldn't have lose you. 
I must have become crazy, for how I behave in front of you. I must have lose my mind because I have no idea why I've been acting that way.

Freedom, is the final gift I have for you, to tell you I really care.
It hurts, agonizes, cuts me inside out. But I will bear with it, biting my lips firm even it bleeds. 

Time heals. But the love never fades. 
If I could be a better person. If God would ever pampered me by giving you to me this time, with His blessings.
I will cherish, I will be balanced, I will know that this is out of grace.



In the end, the only person I need to forgive, is myself.