Sunday, January 1, 2012

behind FAME & VIRTORY

"" the excitement came fast,
went off even faster.
replaced with emptiness and ... lost..
......
to me, it's over. ""



adrenaline pumped too hard in my body.
keeping me in excited state
until i can't breath
winning after all hard work & effort was amazing
we did give a great performance
far better than i expected.

the excitement came fast,
went off even faster.
replaced with emptiness and ... lost..
not the meaning of losing..
but i was confused what's next.
to me, it's over.

am i too passive?
or i was just too clear that everything will end with a full stop at this moment.
i thought i was freed from rejection
apparently, not yet
they are all guys.
i'm the only girl.
they have the common life,
i have my own life.

they are in one
I'm the exception.


indirectly, i feel isolated most of the time.
all grumbles and complaints swallowed into stomach.
showing smiling face most of the time.
yet crying behind the door.

but, after all 
i like them.
truly, love the time spending with them in playing music.
that's the saddest part of the story.
because i will not have the chance for that anymore.
as they don't need me anymore...
i'm just that sensitive and emotional, if you know me.

thanks to my dear drummer.
filling me with all encouragements and supports
and most important,
recognized my role and effort with sincere appreciation
pulling me from deep valley as i fallen.
thank you.

there's still an empty space in my heart.
time will fill it again, i guess.

只是暂时遗失了归属感。明天会更好,对吗?

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