回到平静

。因为想要留着最后一张帖是正面的。

因为有种感觉我好像又会再把这个部落格抛一边了。你们要为我高兴，因为那证明，终于我又站起来了。

beautiful dream, lasts?

I'm still in my dream, wouldn't want to wake up.

Finally, escape from the depressing past. I wanted a new start. A new life, to restart everything again. To restart a life, without past, without sorrow, without the painful memory. A life that only represents the present me, people who never know about my past, who never question about my past, who never bother who am I in the past. If I'm allow to, I would leave that life behind, be it happy or sad memories, the past that makes me unsure if I'm smiling still because I'm happy, or simply is the action from the facial muscles.

K Lang

So finally, today is the day, when I'm finally leaving this place.
I've been hated this place so much;
I've been working my way to not stay in this place as far as I could;
I've been feeling more alone and isolated in this deadly place;
I've been shedding much more tears as far as I could remember compare before;
so much heartbroken, so much isolation, so much slanders, so many haters..
and I'm staying the last night in this room.
But, feeling complicated.

Bye 2014, Hi 2015!

I like the quote in Mandarin，‘遥不可及的不是十年以后，是十年以前。
And I just wish I've not waste too much of my life in this 2014. I thank God 2014 is another suffering year, a tough year simply it just means I'm out of my comfort zone and still stretching to reach my true ability. And I thank God, despite all, I'm celebrating the end with a grateful heart and welcoming the new year with new hope.

If you're just happened to read up my final post on 2014, I sincerely thank you for spending your time on me, being a little 'kepoh' and concern of what is in it. Thank you and appreciate you！

2014 is just another year to prove that I'm imperfect human. I did mistakes, I hurt people, I picked up arguments and fights, I cursed, I did most of the wrong things I know I shouldn't have done. It's an open apology, to those I've hurt for the past one year, I'm truly sorry about it and I would mend the relationship if you allow me to do so. I'm a harsh person, if I've said or done something that hurt you, please forgive me and don't take in all the harsh words. I'm just another imperfect person learning to be a better one. Of all, I'm truly sorry. : /

I guess probably because the beginning of semester is not synchronize with the beginning of the year, it took me quite some times to recall my year. Really appreciate your presence in my 2014, be it a good or a bad one. Just manage to pick some photos out, so even you are not in it, I'm truly appreciate YOU!!

Because I'm happy~being in love

I'm grateful tomorrow is holiday! I'm grateful I have more time to rest and work on report! I'm grateful I have time for sport! I'm grateful I'm going out tomorrow! That's why I'm posting short notes here to show my gratitude! Wweeeeeeeeeeeee~ :3

Never would I deny happiness can so over-flooded because of one person, just that I had totally forgotten this feeling for years, and probably not so much like now. No, not the time to declare yet, but I'm happy, simply happy.

live that blesses LIVES

Shouldn't have time for blogging, I suppose. Having exam in 3 weeks time and I guess I'm just too lay back, and.. I hate the life sitting in front of the desk for 10 hours. The worst part is you don't get the input as you expected.

Oh well, but it's good that I constantly get myself excuses escaping from study by going church, attending cell group meeting, having discipleship, or even walk into some other life, whom you never expect.

Eventually, we grown up

Happened to chat with my used-to-be-cool-artistic primary school teacher with rocker long hair and a primary school friend through facebook few days back and we just realized how time flies. 10 years, I never thought I've gone so far, and my cool teacher is now married and working in Mediacorp with his..hmm not so long hair anymore? 

I appreciate those people, who used to stay deep in my memory, reappear in my life. Letting me realize, how much I've grown up, how much I've changed along the way. Those people, who might forever stay as my facebook friends and I'll eventually forget their existence, willing to just bug me with a message, and we just make up a date for reunion spontaneously.

Music, my love

So proud to present my 2 new self-composed songs! Being a busy medical student with a hectic life, one thing I've learnt to really be grateful is the time I have for things I love and for myself. Adapting myself so much better now allowing me to put down my books and spent the whole week just to produce two songs. Such a crazy idea if I were to do it in my first year super stress life. Not the first time composing songs but the first time really be serious in every steps. From the ideas of the songs, genres, lyrics to melodies. Editing lyrics and the melodies so many times just to get the best of all though it might not be the best among the really good songs.

Not a good guitar player but trying to come out with a good accompaniment, not a good singer but trying to sing with the real feeling, not a good song writer but trying to write a song with story, no professional devices for song recording but still trying best to produce a good demo with slightly low quality. After all, I really enjoy the process. 

Not sure when is the next time for the song recording, probably not so soon when I foresee the busy life in preparing Dayao concert. Really praying hard for it.

Hate to do calculation or countdown, but this is human nature to somehow be caring of things which have been buried deep down.

I'm surprise. I'm covering well, so far.

结果又到了半夜三更，最emo的时候，太糟糕了。
好了，不说了，睡了。

if I die young

the thought just came in when I was on the flight back to KL from Langkawi.
probably night always brings up my inner emotion when I'm alone.
What if the flight crash the way back?
Definitely I shall rejoice to go heaven earlier but wait.. NO!!!
not now.. definitely not now..

2013 Review - Christmas my love

Christmas is always beautiful, as well as a reminder that time flies. Last year is special when I'm gonna enter twenty, the age start with '2-'. This year is significant as well as I'm officially grown up with the age of 21.

Another short review of year, perhaps, a thanksgiving?

home

The more I grown up, the more I attach to the word 'home', it just simply make my heart warm and I'm grateful about it.
People around me can so easily sense my excitement for this short break simply because I'm back to my refuge! Free from stress, free from tiredness, free from worries with the add on of homecook food, entertainment and quality time with people whom I loved.
I used to think of running away from home, but now it just sounds silly to me.
Growing up from the hatred and bitterness till the turning point to forgive and accept, it ain't too late to realize and speak out I love my family. 

EE buddies! :)

I would say it's a busy month ever since the new semester started. Still, study is overwhelming due to the pack schedule, health is deteriorating due to sleepless night but I know I just need a little more time to get myself use to it. After all, I enjoy my life with every single little events that worth celebrating.

I don't need a reason to be happy

It's been two weeks after returned to KL, one week after the new semester started. I would say I have my life living wonderful. Early return is just another best decision I've made. I guess this is the feeling of attachment, sense of belonging. Still remember how lost I felt when the first year coming to the end and I had to travel back to JB. Even I was born in JB, KL is more like a comfortable place for me, or to be more precise, UM, the life in the campus is more comfortable after all. 

I did has a real terrible emotion before the new semester started when the stress once again laying heavily on my shoulders, so much fear for what is to come. But all the horrible feeling just disappear when things actually started in quite a way that I can handle. Even it's just a week, everything seems familiar as if I have doing all this as the routine of my life. It's a good sign. I'm happy.

准备？

说白了只是篇没有心理准备，就写下的东西，还以为我能够。还是太习惯被情绪左右吗？虽然是进步了，但还是免不了那些许的挣扎吧，说些许，还蛮心虚的。上帝非要，非要把情绪放在女人身上吗？

I dreamed a dream, a beautiful dream

Suddenly think of this song. I only knew it when I watched Les Miserable and I only love it after few times listening to the music video of this movie. The first time I watched this scene, I don't get all the feelings. But now I understand how Anne Hathaway won so many awards with just a few scenes in the movie. The more I reminisced the movie, the more I'm in love with the movie. Hope there's chance I can watch the musical of Les Miserable.

The dream I dreamed might probably been killed, but I know my hope is rebuild in God.

saying goodbye with a smile

believe or not,

time flies.

i've completed my pre-U course on Thursday.

not only God has transformed me to a mature lady

my spiritual development has shown substantial growth.

KMNS 

the first study environment i'll miss as i foresee

i'm always fear that something bad might happen before i graduate

made me choose to blot out the memory

just as my primary & secondary school life

Thanks God

everything went well until the moment i stepped out the college.

it might be the change of perception

but i feel so bless after all.

life is full of good deeds and good people.

a non-stop sharing with my family for 4 hours way back to JB,

i did appreciate the wonderful life spending for the past year.

 

i know i'll definitely miss the life there.

but i still have to move on.

to another stop right in front of my eyes.  

above left : cooking barley for my roommates, gold medal for Merentas Desa 3.6km, Battle of the Bands night

 center : playing guitar during free time with band mates

below left: Cluster C dinner, stretching after my jog

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"" some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our heart and we are never, ever the same. ""