Eventually, we grown up

Happened to chat with my used-to-be-cool-artistic primary school teacher with rocker long hair and a primary school friend through facebook few days back and we just realized how time flies. 10 years, I never thought I've gone so far, and my cool teacher is now married and working in Mediacorp with his..hmm not so long hair anymore? 

I appreciate those people, who used to stay deep in my memory, reappear in my life. Letting me realize, how much I've grown up, how much I've changed along the way. Those people, who might forever stay as my facebook friends and I'll eventually forget their existence, willing to just bug me with a message, and we just make up a date for reunion spontaneously.

夜雨。夜语

What is the irony feeling when your mind keep processing the emotion you've been tried to avoid? Feeling ' I don't wanna sleep when you're deprive from sleep so much,' feeling ' The fellow is talking bullshit when you know you shouldn't hate people,' feeling ' I don't wanna mix with any of them even you know that is the way to extend your network', feeling ' I think I'm alright where the tears can just roll down right after when you turn your back,' or feeling ' the emptiness of missing someone who don't worth you to give a second thought.'

追。 大摇与我 。寻

时间真的是飞快的。看回上一张帖，才发现半个月又过去了，大摇，也结束了。
真的很不可思议，又这样过去了。
他们总说 Post Dayao Syndrome，过了两天仍处于颓废状态的我，很不愿意承认，却不能否认我的确是处于 PDS，虽然症状有异。
我希望这不会是很长的帖，但不能保证！哈哈

所以，经历了那么多精神、情绪上的挫折，大摇不只圆满落幕，因上帝的恩典，我们破了大摇有史以来出席率，连最大的礼堂都爆场，突破1200大关。心中是有很多感动的。从来不为人数担心，只因为相信上帝会预备。而当天的演出，也得到至高的评价，虽然只是个音乐总监的我，为整个活动的开始，过程直到结束都莫名动容。

伊翎，是我的名字

重温自己的文字，其实很喜欢，文字里的我。我没有很优秀的文笔，只是我知道每一个字的情感是真的。有多少人可以从文字理解一个人，有多少个人认识了文字里的我，我不晓得，如果有谁，会花时间去感受。

三月约定

Such a big relief back to home. The feeling is just like..taking a short leave in workplace, though I have not experience it. Such a short break, but I'm so gonna recharge myself before I'm back to the war.

Such a long break ever since I really pick up any responsibility to organize an event. The one I could ever remember is back to Form 5, also a concert. The evidence that I've not change too far. I used to say I will not take up any leader role if God has not placed me on such position. I just hate myself being a horrible dictator, a solution to run away from my personality. God has constantly refine me but I hardly believe myself can play a good role in such position anymore. If is not for Dayao, if is not for the senior who encouraged and looked high on me, if is not for the people I treasure, if is not for the dream I have in this grand concert... 

曾经有人说,

就是宁愿一个人在房里，也放弃几十个人的聚会。

人总是矛盾，别人忘记你时，你喊bojio；人家邀时，却真的没什么兴致参与。

不能说我不介意一群人的聚会总是被遗忘，但如果说我很介意，却又不完全是事实。记得你的人，又怎么会忘记你？

有人说，情绪不好时不要一个人，但我相信一个人，要比一群人的热闹凸显的寂寞要好一些。

人人都在积极完成100天快乐日记，我说，快乐又何必强求。或许能帮我们更加懂得乐观看待每一天，但若为了完成任务而强装开心，始终任务失败吧。。

向来不是戏迷，拖了那么久，今天终于才愿意宅一次，看 On Call 2。除了里面的帅哥美女医生医术高超，把人与人之间的关系也衬托得贴切。医生们，安慰辅导病人时，总会不经意`把自己深藏的心念说出来吧。人终究要发现生命的脆弱，才会知道真情的可贵。

情人节。不快乐

我真的不理了，不想再压抑，那种真的喘不过气的感觉。

大道理自己总是说得很多，能真的实际履行的，或许没有几条。现在真的很糟糕，都不晓得怎么让事情变得如此糟糕。

喜欢是种什么感觉，应该是甜的，苦的，还是酸的？
我不知道什么是喜欢，但我知道什么叫做迷恋。一昧只看到对方的好、样貌、才干，快要变得天上有地下无的境界，那是迷恋。

COCO离家记

结果就突然的生病，然后离开了。

接到消息的第一个反应是，‘我应该要有什么反应？’

似乎是因为长期压抑反射性情绪，花了整整一天，在思考到底我的反应正常吗？

所以一整天拜年，玩牌、唱歌、弹琴、吃年饼、拿红包，我还是过了很开心的一天。

我正常吗？

Music, my love

So proud to present my 2 new self-composed songs! Being a busy medical student with a hectic life, one thing I've learnt to really be grateful is the time I have for things I love and for myself. Adapting myself so much better now allowing me to put down my books and spent the whole week just to produce two songs. Such a crazy idea if I were to do it in my first year super stress life. Not the first time composing songs but the first time really be serious in every steps. From the ideas of the songs, genres, lyrics to melodies. Editing lyrics and the melodies so many times just to get the best of all though it might not be the best among the really good songs.

Not a good guitar player but trying to come out with a good accompaniment, not a good singer but trying to sing with the real feeling, not a good song writer but trying to write a song with story, no professional devices for song recording but still trying best to produce a good demo with slightly low quality. After all, I really enjoy the process. 

Not sure when is the next time for the song recording, probably not so soon when I foresee the busy life in preparing Dayao concert. Really praying hard for it.

Hate to do calculation or countdown, but this is human nature to somehow be caring of things which have been buried deep down.

I'm surprise. I'm covering well, so far.

结果又到了半夜三更，最emo的时候，太糟糕了。
好了，不说了，睡了。

夜。乱语

这个时间在网上潜水绝对是大错特错，只因为明天有早课。是的，没错，当其他人还在享受农历新年，我却被迫回到宿舍，准备明天的课。医科啊医科，允许我抱怨你一会儿。。

享受一个人的宁静，就像安静的宿舍，只有我一人，整栋楼的学生没超过一半。
所以我玩吉他，唱歌，写歌，只是发现自己的才能或许还不足，写的歌总让我泄气。

然后自high了就是夜深人静，心就在边缘，谷底的边缘。

if I die young

the thought just came in when I was on the flight back to KL from Langkawi.
probably night always brings up my inner emotion when I'm alone.
What if the flight crash the way back?
Definitely I shall rejoice to go heaven earlier but wait.. NO!!!
not now.. definitely not now..

2013 Review - Christmas my love

Christmas is always beautiful, as well as a reminder that time flies. Last year is special when I'm gonna enter twenty, the age start with '2-'. This year is significant as well as I'm officially grown up with the age of 21.

Another short review of year, perhaps, a thanksgiving?